


On Your Special Day

by lun_a



Category: AB6IX (Band), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Break Up, Childhood Friends, Exes, M/M, Post-Break Up, what else to tag this with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 08:44:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21389350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lun_a/pseuds/lun_a
Summary: Unanswered questions get their answers because Jihoon had to take the job.
Relationships: Kang Daniel/Ong Seongwu, Kang Mina/Park Woojin, Park Jihoon/Park Woojin
Kudos: 26





	On Your Special Day

**Author's Note:**

> i worked on this since a long time ago and irdk why i did not finish writing it back then. but here we are ig?? so yeeppp, happy reading!

"Jihoon, we have a project next week," Seongwu spoke through the speakers of his phone. Jihoon strides across his kitchen counter and takes the device closer.

  
"Really? I thought we were going jobless, it has been a month!" Jihoon replies, excitement evident in his voice.

  
Seongwu chuckles from the other line, "Yeah, I thought so too. Anyway, get your lenses ready, we're getting this bread."

  
"I got them on standby since four weeks ago," Jihoon jokes and Seongwu laughs as they end the call.  
  


  
It has been two years since Jihoon graduated from college and joined his good old friend, Seongwu, in his photography business. It was fun, Jihoon could say even more. He finished a degree related to it anyway so it was close to his likes and interests that's why in less than a year, their business have been doing well than they expected ever since.  
  
It was enough for Jihoon to save and buy his own car and apartment, and live a rather comfortable life. Their business was really a big help, the income was more than enough for maintenance and their own income. There are times that clients get fewer than usual, from little to none but it was kind of okay. At the moment, the last project they had was almost a month ago and even though it was to say that the business is going slow, Jihoon knew both him and Seongwu needed a break from continuous work. Besides, they have enough to not starve for a month.  
  
Jihoon takes personal gigs at times, like Seongwu before. The older stopped doing so and focused on the business after getting a… boyfriend in one of his gigs. Jihoon hates to sound salty at all times but Seongwu and his boyfriend makes it sound like he is, so he just keeps his mouth shut. And it is not like Jihoon aims to find love like Seongwu did doing gigs; for fuck's sake, they're gross.  
  
  
  
"I swear to God, Seongwu hyung this better be paying us good," Jihoon stares at Seongwu as he sips on his milktea. They are in a classy looking café their client wished to meet up that day. Seongwu smirks.

  
"Can't you see this place? They wouldn't have known about this and ask us to meet here if they are not.." Seongwu shows his three fingers up in front of Jihoon with a smug look. The latter rolls his eyes.  
  
The café's door chimes, but Jihoon did not pay it any attention as he thinks their client would be just like the others who shows up only when they send them a reminder about meeting up with them.  
  
Well, not until Jihoon hears Seongwu greet someone and laugh awkwardly and stand from his seat. Jihoon looks up from his phone. There stood with them a lady around his age with a smile that made her eyes form into a line and pink cheeks that made Jihoon's healthy ones offended. Jihoon's gay but damn, the girl's pretty.  
  
He too stands from his seat to the greet their client and offer her a seat. She politely takes the seat and went straight to introduce herself formally.  
  
"It's so nice to meet you. I'm Kang Mina," she says.

  
Seongwu chuckles, "Do you, in any chance, know a Kang Daniel?"

  
Jihoon sighs and throws Seongwu a disapproving look, "Hyung, not everyone who has the same surname with your boyfriend knows him. I don't know how many times have you done that but please stop. You're embarassing." He sighs exasperatedly.  
  
Mina laughs at them and waves her hand in small movement, "No, it's okay it's cute."

Seongwu snickers at Jihoon and mouth him _she called me cute._

  
"But I'm sorry I don't know a Kang Daniel personally, though there's a model with the same name right?" Mina asks.

  
Seongwu laughs in pride and Jihoon shakes his head, "Yeah. He's the same person I'm talking about."

  
Mina looks at Seongwu in shock and nods her head saying it's cool. Jihoon mumbles under his breath about Seongwu flexing his boyfriend to a stranger once again.  
  
"Anyway, can we go back to business?" Jihoon coughs as he opens the lid of his laptop. He looks at Mina, "For formality's sake, I am Park Jihoon and he's Ong Seongwu of Comma Photography."

  
"Oh, your name sounds familiar."

  
"I get that a lot. I mean, there are a lot of people in showbiz who has the same name as me," Jihoon says.

  
"What is this photo shoot's concept? Uhm, any event is this for?" Jihoon coughs.

  
"I'm sorry we weren't able to tell you the basic details, my boyfriend's kind of dumb but, it's a wedding photo shoot." Mina says with a big smile.  
  
"Wait, you're getting married?!" Seongwu looks at Mina with wide eyes. Mina nods, her cheeks tainted with a slight red blush.

  
"I assume you're the same age with Jihoon, how come you're getting married while this one is still painfully single?" Seongwu asks a bit louder now and Mina laughs harder. He receives a kick under the table from Jihoon.  
  
"It's kind of a rush actually. He's got work today so I'm the one to meet you yet he's the one who wanted all of this to happen next month," Mina explains to them.

  
"When are you planning to hold the wedding?" Seongwu taps his pen on hi small notebook on top of a folder.

  
"This June," Mina sighs.  
  
"Isn't it too late to prepare? I mean, May has started already so you approximately have a month or less to prepare," Jihoon inquires as he sips on his milktea again that has now gone bland. He shouldn't have asked to put a lot of ice in it.

  
"Yeah, that's the case. That idiot said he wanted to be a June groom because it has always been June brides," Mina rolls her eyes.

  
Both Seongwu and Jihoon laugh.  
  
"Can we have the shoot this weekend? Don't worry we got the location and the other needed stuffs covered already. You just have to be there and take nice photos."

  
Seongwu and Jihoon look at each other, "That's not a problem. We actually don't have to check our schedules to take your offer because we're basically jobless for a month until you contacted us." Seongwu sighed.  
  
Jihoon gives Mina an approving look and nods, "As long as you pay us nice then we're good."

  
Mina chuckles, "Of course, you don't have to tell me."  
  
"I guess it's settled then. Saturday morning. Send us the place, we'll see you there."  
  
Mina shakes Seongwu's hands, then Jihoon's.  
  
Time to get to work.  
  
  
  


  
  
  
Jihoon doesn't know but he is a bit giddy about the shoot coming up tomorrow. It's Friday night and he knows he should be tucked in bed by this time of the night for a whole day job tomorrow but here he is, outside a damned convenience store, downing bottles of soju. He's already had two yet he still hasn't felt a little bit dizzy and Jihoon doesn't know if he should be happy about it. He spent this whole week trying out his cameras and lenses if they are still working and haven't had shrunk in their cases. He has also bought extra memory cards and cleaned his laptop for photo editing he knows he has to sit on for the following days until midnight.  
  
By this time, he should have gone to his usual routine before taking up on action of their job; getting enough rest because sleepless night are about to come to meet the deadline of their client, practicing different shots and angles just in case his skills has rotten or whatever stuff he should be and is used to be doing about this job. But right now, Jihoon cannot put a finger on what he should be feeling. There's something in his gut that kicks in his stomach making him feel excited yet an ugly bitter taste is left in his throat. He knows it isn't the alcohol. It's something else.  
  
It doesn't make sense that even after the fourth bottle and Jihoon has decided to go home, he was still able to walk straight and get his apartment's passcode correct on the second try. He was even able to remove his shoes and put them aside properly before rolling into his bed and closing his eyes shut for the night.  
  
Everything kicks in the morning after. Jihoon doesn't know what time he made it home, or how he fell asleep but it felt like both heaven and earth has decided to come over his whole being. A massive headache was all he got, that doesn't go away even after a cup of hot chocolate and cold shower. The last thing Jihoon wanted today is a hangover. He preferred the alcohol knocked him down the street last night than hitting him today sober, on a work day. What the fuck.  
  


  
"You look like a fucking trash bag that fell off a moving waste truck," Seongwu immediately spots Jihoon get out of his car as soon as he arrived on the place they were told the shoot would be.

  
"I know," Jihoon replies with a hoarse voice. He had settled on a plain white shirt with a denim jacket he just threw over, a pair of faded jeans that looked decent enough (he doesn't even know if he has worn it last week and got it washed, whatever) and white sneakers. His newly dyed hair from the other day doesn't want to cooperate with him either as it was sticking in all directions possible even after he tried fixing it so he just put it on a messy man bun he doesn't even know too if it actually suits him.  
  
Both him and Seongwu knows Jihoon isn't this type to go out of his apartment without caring about how he looks. Just that, some conditions get Jihoon in the worst weather of his moods for him to give a damn on every single thing.  
  
"Drank last night, don't know why, alcohol did not kick in until this morning I woke up. Of all days, it has to be today," Jihoon groans and Seongwu laughs at him as they both set up and prepare all the stuff they need with waiting for their client to come.

  
"It's not like someone made you do it, though. You're just an idiot," Seongwu shakes his head and Jihoon just sighs.  


  
The place was nice, to be honest. It was a secluded area just around the outskirts of the city and Jihoon wondered how their client was able to find it. It is a wide landscape of green grass where small trees stood every other meter around. Jihoon and Seongwu settle their things and Mina had told them they'd be over in an hour so the younger decided to walk around while waiting for them. As he goes a little farther, the place seemed to be more familiar to him as he hears a sound of running water near the small hill by the corner. He walks towards it and there revealed a peaceful stream with a huge cherry blossom tree that stood there alone over the said body of water.  
  
Jihoon's heart has started to thump loudly against his chest as he goes near the tree and the stream. It was a place he once held in his deepest memories, that kept a hundred stories he tried so hard to avoid them resurfacing. Yet now, here they are, right in front of his eyes and all around him like fireflies trying to wake Jihoon up in the middle of a dark night as he tries to keep his eyes shut. He cannot mistake the place for another, or a different one just likely to be similar. He knows it too well, he knows.  
  
He goes around the other side of the big tree and there it was. Jihoon has forgotten the headache that has been killing him since morning as he kneels in front of the pile of five huge stones sitting behind the big tree. It has been covered by pink petals that have fallen but Jihoon opted not to put them away as it actually looked pretty there. He stared at it like it was a sad beautiful artwork with glassy eyes and a smile. He didn't know it still feels like this, in the smallest part of his heart at least.  
  
His phone rang as he was just about to stand up.  
  
"Come back now, they're here," Seongwu calmly said and he can hear Mina laughing from the background.

  
"Okay," Jihoon says meekly and gives the pile of rocks a once over and walks back the path he walked on earlier.  
  
  
  
  
  
He comes back to Seongwu and Mina talking about something while Mina munches on a sausage. Seongwu looks like he's telling her lame jokes again but Mina laughs at him nevertheless.  
  
"Hey," Jihoon greets.

  
"Jihoon!" Mina beams at him, "Sorry we're late. Got some stuff at work to fix earlier."

  
Jihoon waves his hand dismissively as he says, "Don't worry about it," he smiles.  
  
"Where is he by the way?" Jihoon asks as he and Seongwu starts to turn on their cameras for test shooting, "I mean your boyfriend."

  
"Oh he's changing in the car and getting some stuff. Kind of messy, that one," Mina replies.

  
"Jihoon's a messier one here, I guess. Going to work looking like a rag," Seongwu chides as he angles his camera to Jihoon who glares at him.

  
Mina chuckles, "You look nice in that hairsytle, though."

  
Jihoon looks at her, "Well, thanks? That's something to make up for Seongwu hyung's constant dragging about how I look today."  
Mina laughs and bites on her sausage as she watches the two work on their cameras.  
  
"You're eating again," a deep voice came from behind the photographers to where Mina smiled at. Jihoon would have adored her eye smile that looked entirely different than the ones she showed them, looking so in love, if not of the voice that sounded all too familiar with him, a sound he has known that he could recognize even in his sleep.  
  
"Woojins," Mina greets, "You know a bowl of your fried rice isn't enough for a hectic morning for me," she answers after she chewed the last bite of her sausage.  
  
Jihoon pretends to not hear them as he continues angling his camera towards the landscape in view, even after he hears Seongwu shuffle and turn to the couple. He was about to come up with a plan on how to either get out of here or finish the shoot without much conversation as much as possible.  
  
But then Mina gently taps his arm as she say, "and this is Jihoon," there was an encouraging look on Mina's face when Jihoon glanced at her. It suddenly wasn't easy for Jihoon to look away from his camera's small screen when the first thing he spots before looking up is the couple's intertwined hands. They look perfect.  
  
"Jihoon, this is Woojin, my boyfriend and fiancée," Mina introduces them politely.  
"Hey," Woojin bows a little at him and so Jihoon does, but walks over to Seongwu to change his camera lens before Woojin could offer him a handshake. He didn't let pass the recognition in Woojin's eyes as he tried to avoid them with a small smile (a fake one).  
  
  
"I'll just go and change so we can start?" Mina excuses herself with a pinch on Woojin's cheek.

  
Jihoon did not have to watch them.  
  
  
  
  
_"You're eating again."_  
  
_Jihoon rolls his eyes, "So what? I'm still pretty with chubby cheeks."_  
_"Yeah, you are."_  
  
_Woojin looks at Jihoon with fondness in his eyes as he watches the older stuff his mouth with his favorite cheesecake. It hasn't been two hours since they had their last snack yet here Jihoon is. Woojin smiles and kisses the corner of Jihoon's mouth as soon as the older was done munching._  
  
_"What's that for?" Jihoon asks._  
_"Nothing. Am I not allowed to kiss you whenever I want?" Woojin asks and Jihoon eyes him in suspicion._  
_"I love you," Woojin whispers, pulling Jihoon closer by the hand as they exit their school gates, "forever. Remember that."_  
_"You're weird but I know that and I love you too, idiot," Jihoon sighs and grips Woojin's hand tighter._  
  
  
  
  
Now he knows how their client has found or known this place.  
  
Jihoon doesn't want to believe that small voice in his head that screams about the way Woojin looks at him in between breaks of the shoot. Not in that way though; Woojin looks at Jihoon like he wants to tell him something or to talk to him but Jihoon ignores what he implies by those so he automatically avoids Woojin whenever he knows the younger tries to make a move. 

  
  
Thankfully, Seongwu doesn't notice anything or even if he does, he keeps quiet.  
  
If the world really hates Jihoon, he has proven it true now. They have taken more than enough couple shots of Woojin and Mina and Seongwu instructs Jihoon to scan over the photos while he takes solo shots of Mina.  
  
And that fucking leaves Woojin behind and Jihoon alone on his work.  
  
"Jihoon," he hears Woojin speak in a small voice. Jihoon busies himself looking at the camera and the laptop. He doesn't say a word.

  
"I didn't know Mina got you for this job," Woojin continues, "I don't know if it's nice that you met her like that or should I have looked for you and introduced you to her but either way, I'm glad."  
  
  
  
  
It hasn't been so long. Two years? Almost three? Jihoon doesn't know. All he can he remember is himself trying to drown himself in work, in their business and other jobs he was able to grasp that time. He would never deny he had spent months of drunken nights and recalling memories of them, unfinished business his heart thinks there still is when he knows all he has left are the little things he can't even hold on to because he's gone. Woojin has left him and all that Jihoon could muster is a little courage to move forward.  
  
He never moved on. He chose to only moved forward because moving on meant forgetting how they felt like. Moving on meant keeping the love he has spent for that person a distant memory, a secret that should never be retold. Moving on meant to him forgetting he once promised him a love forever. And he may have accepted that love isn't forever anymore, but he still wants to live with that love that once taught and gave him many things.  
  
So if Jihoon would ask himself now if it still tastes bitter by the tip of his tongue when he tries to reply to Woojin, he would say no. Woojin has been the nicest memory he has ever had, and maybe whatever is happening today hasn’t just sunk in yet. He's still hung over anyway, he can easily dodge unnecessary thoughts and feelings.  
  
"Yeah. Congratulations, by the way," Jihoon replies curtly, trying to look confused between photos when he knows all too well which is the nicer shot.

  
"Thanks," Woojin says and chuckles, "I see you've been well, too."

  
"You can say that."

  
"But you look like you drank last night," Woojin's voice sounded like he's tiptoeing on thin ice, careful to offend Jihoon.

  
But Jihoon laughs, "I don’t know, you tell me."

  
"Your cheeks are flushed red ever since I saw you earlier, and you still have a bad hair meaning you slept on the wrong side of the bed, drunk," Woojin smoothly says making Jihoon look up at him.

  
"You still know those dumb things, huh?" Jihoon says, one eyebrow raising.

  
"If anything, I believe I still know you best."  
  
  
Jihoon knows Woojin does.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Wait, why are you telling this?" Jinyoung asks in confusion.

  
"Met him again," Jihoon simply says.

  
Seongwu, on the other hand, stares at Jihoon with disbelief. He slowly closes his laptop and grabs a bottle of beer in front of Jihoon.  
  
It's the morning after the wedding shoot and Jihoon has been grumpy the whole night as they were picking out photos to fix and edit for final outputs. They have almost four days to finish it and they both know they can do it two days max. Right now, they are sat on Jihoon's carpeted living room floor with bottles of beer and bags of chips around. Jinyoung, Jihoon's college friend, came over.  
  
"What do you mean, that Woojin? Mina's boyfriend, was your ex?" Seongwu asks after a gulp from his bottle of beer. Jihoon nods.

  
"Was it only the hangover that you didn't chicken out or you knew they're getting married all along?" Seongwu still can't believe it.

  
"I didn't know. Maybe I was just slow that I didn’t actually process everything completely yesterday."  
  
  
  
  
  
Twelfth grade. The year Jihoon and Woojin got together. College senior year. The year things started to break apart. Somewhere along those times, Jihoon found Woojin leaving their shared dorm of four years.  
  
  
  
Jihoon met Seongwu in his last year in college, during the days when he almost called things off with Woojin. The older didn't know about them as Jihoon was always too invested about how their interest on photography has been. It has been kind of a relief back then, to Jihoon who is struggling to juggle things and balance his academics, Woojin and pursuing the career he wanted. Everything was blurry and all of it is almost getting out of hand. Jihoon doesn't want to defend himself, but Woojin might be one of those things he had given up. Not because he doesn't want to go on, not because he doesn't love him anymore, not because he doesn't want to fight for them; but because Woojin had stepped out of their relationship even before Jihoon could, without any reason, without any explanation.  
  
Sure, it left an open wound. It was like leaving a story hanging yet Jihoon was smart enough himself to not hold on and believe that Woojin would come running back to him, whether he did love him or not. Second chances and happy endings are only real in fairytales.  
  
  
  
"Are you okay now, though? I mean, you know," Seongwu asks after Jihoon's silence.  
"We know he is, hyung. That's partly thanks to you for piling him up with mountain of works back then, no offense but yeah, I witnessed how this idiot practically drowned everything with alcohol," Jinyoung pipes in. Seongwu nods in understanding.  
  
Jihoon's cheeks are full on red now, his eyes teary yet he kept them in by small sniffles and speaks, "There's nothing alcohol can't heal."

  
"Uhh, I think that was supposed to be chocolates but, okay," Seongwu says.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
For some reason, Jihoon found himself coming back to the stream. He carefully kept the backup flash drive in his back pocket Seongwu gave him earlier as the older sent the finalized outputs from the wedding shoot to Mina. Jihoon carefully sits down in front of the pile of big rocks behind the big cherry blossom tree, there were more pink petals on it now and it looks prettier.  
  
  
  
*  
  
_"Today, we graduate high school together," Jihoon whispers as he stares blankly at the flowing water on the stream._

  
_"And today, we turn a year-old couple," He feels Woojin scoot closer to where he is._   
  
_Jihoon looks at Woojin, who in return looks at him with the same intensity in his eyes. It feels like yesterday when they ran out of school during lunch and found themselves running to the same place they're in right now without knowing how. It hasn't been so long since they found the route only them knew towards here, and it doesn't feel so far since Jihoon almost pushed Woojin into the water after he confessed how much he is in love with the older._   
  
_It has been a year, too many feelings has developed yet they stayed they stayed the same._   
  
_"Do you think this nice big ass rock could mark our first year?" Woojin points at the big flat rock that sat innocently by the foot of the cherry blossom tree. Jihoon nods._

  
_"It kind of looks like you so, I think it's okay," Jihoon teases and Woojin pouts at him, "What? You know the trolls in Frozen that becomes rocks? I told you, you look like them right?"_

  
_"Fine, whatever you say."_   
  
_They move the huge rock to the corner a little behind the tree and tapped on it as a seal that they are putting on it as the promise of their love._   
  
  
  
_*_   
  
_Freshmen year has been tough. Jihoon almost did not survive taking up communication while Woojin dies everyday with his plates in architecture. Both of them dread in their shared dorm every night, regretting and realizing that growing up and college is a fucking mistake._   
  
_Yet right after their final grades were posted, Jihoon and Woojin stand in front of the stream again, hand in hand with smiles on their faces._   
  
_"You know, college is not that bad at all," Woojin breaks their comfortable silence._

  
_"Yeah, didn't know I was actually having fun while struggling to meet a deadline," Jihoon agrees._

  
_"Do you remember what day today is?" Woojin asks._

  
_Jihoon nods, "Why wouldn't I?" He smiles and steps closer to Woojin, holding both of his hands now._   
  
_"Time has been flying so fast and I'm so thankful it didn’t take you away from me," Jihoon whispers._

  
_"It can't. Nothing can ever," Woojin replies, assuring Jihoon._

  
_Jihoon chuckles, "Two years. Thank you for putting up with me for that long."_

  
_"I would put up with you for the rest of our lives if I have to. And thank you too, for being my whole world," Woojin bops Jihoon's nose._   
  
_"Don't you think we should give our baby rock over there a companion now?" Jihoon suggest as they turn to the rock they placed behind the tree the previous year._   
  
_Woojin nods his head as both of them take another huge rock nearby and put it safely on top of the first one._   
  
_"For our second year and forever?" Woojin whispers as both of them catch their breaths from lifting the rock._

  
_Jihoon smiles at him, caresses Woojin's hands into his until both of their breathings even out, "For a lifetime and beyond."_   
  
  
_*_   
  
  
_Jihoon throws the 11th pebble to the running water of the stream. There's a small frown on his face but not little did it ruin his beautiful features. It's already a month into their summer vacation, and it is undeniably late already to celebrate what was supposed to be celebrated but the other person that has to be with Jihoon right at the moment is much later._   
_He hears heavy footsteps from not too far making Jihoon's pout a bit more obvious on his lips as fast panting from another presence gets closer to where he is._   
  
_Jihoon gets engulfed in a big (sweaty) bear hug, scent way too familiar to him, "I'm sorry, love. Yerim was being a brat again and made me drive her to her ballet lessons which seemed to be on the other side of the country."_

  
_Woojin hugs Jihoon tighter before releasing him and Jihoon all the more sulks, eyes looking real sad and heavy._   
  
_"Jihoon," Woojin snaps as Jihoon who continues to sulk, "don't force tears to come out now. I know you're sad but come on, get it over with the drama."_

  
_"So you think I'm just being dramatic?" Jihoon's face clears up but his eyebrows are now raised at his boyfriend._

  
_Woojin puts up a defensive look, "Of course not. Can you just not be sad already because I'm here now?"_

  
_Jihoon doesn’t say anything and just rolls his eyes at Woojin. He throws the 12th pebble to the water._

  
_"Hey," Woojin nudges him and clings on to Jihoon's waist by the side._   
  
_Jihoon doesn't move nor speak for minutes so Woojin peppers his cheeks with kisses until Jihoon gives in and giggles. Both of them sigh at the same time but Woojin follows a soft 'I love you' against Jihoon's ear and Jihoon whispers the same thing afterwards._   
  
_"Does this mean we're fucking pulling another big rock," Jihoon points towards one not far from them, "to put on our babies sitting behind the tree?"_

  
_Woojin furrows his brows and looks up from where his face is snuggled between the crook of Jihoon's neck and shoulder, "Did you just call them our babies? You're taking big rocks as our sons?"_

  
_Jihoon stares at Woojin as if Woojin is the one being weird, "What?"_

  
_Woojin knows all too well that if he pursues either teasing or arguing Jihoon about it, the latter would just continue his sulking episode; he just wants to feel loved by his boyfriend today and doesn't want to get Jihoon's acted out anger for the rest of his day. He shakes his head and pecks Jihoon's lips, "Nothing. Let's just get that fucker over there and put him with his brothers."_   
  
  
_"Hey," Jihoon calls Woojin out as both of them slump down on the grass after putting the third stone on top of the pile._

  
_"Hey," Woojin replies._

  
_"You're annoying."_   


  
_Woojin just laughs._

  
_"..and you insult me and argue with me most of the time," Jihoon fiddles with his fingers._

  
_"Sometimes I know you lose patience with my bitch ass," Jihoon reaches across their gap and takes Woojin's hand into his, "..and there are many other things. I don't know. I'm just so lucky to have you in my life."_

  
_"Thank you, Woojie. For everything. I love you," Jihoon rolls over and kisses Woojin square on the lips then goes curling against the latter._   
  
_Woojin hums, "Are you breaking up with me?"_

  
_Jihoon laughs, "No. I would never."_

  
_"Good. Because you can't. And I love you too, so much."_   
  
  
_*_   
  
  
_Woojin claps his hand like a fucking seal as Jihoon catches his breath like a worn out dog. He glares at the younger._

_"Wow, didn't know you were that strong, boyfriend," Woojin walks over to Jihoon, face so red from holding back his laughter but Jihoon defeats its color as he almost died from lifting a huge rock to put on top of their pile of rocks._   
  
_"You still cheated from that count off. You said after three but you ran ON three!" Jihoon huffs, trying to breathe evenly as Woojin doesn't mind his sweaty shirt and all hugs him._   
  
_"You saying something?" Woojin teases after pulling away from Jihoon but not too far since he still got the older in his arms by the waist so tightly. Jihoon smacks his arm._   
  
_"If this is how we're gonna do it from now on and the following years, I'm breaking up with you," Jihoon glares, "Gosh, I hate those rocks."_   
  
_Woojin lets out his rhinoceros laugh in front of Jihoon's pouty face, "Don't worry. This won't happen again."_   
  
_"Really? Does that have to make me feel better that it means I'm the only one to suffer this, huh?" Jihoon knots his brows._   
  
_Suddenly, Jihoon feels himself being lifted in the air and sat on top of the piled rocks he didn't know reached that high enough to be on eye level with Woojin who's standing. The latter fits himself in between Jihoon's legs and wraps his arms around the elder's waist. It felt natural when Jihoon giggled and placed a soft kiss on Woojin's forehead._   
  
_"By next year, it would be higher than this, wouldn't it?" Jihoon asks, talking about the rocks._

  
_Woojin hums, "And I won 't be letting you do it alone. We'll add not just the fifth but many more huge rocks there can be until it reaches beyond the height of this tree," Woojin smiles at Jihoon._

  
_"We'll be together that long," Jihoon sighs._  
_"..and even more," Woojin finishes his sentence as they both smile and their lips meet softly in the middle._  
  
  
  
  
Jihoon stares at the pile. The topmost look a little smaller but nonetheless looks like it belongs there. It was the last one. The last rock Jihoon remembers he put there, alone. He knew that time it would be the last, and he smiles to himself sadly, throwing the pile one last look before he turns away.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
On his way home, Jihoon thought it would be nice to drop by the coffee shop that's open 24/7 near where he lived. He's not a fan of coffee but he actually likes the hot chocolate they make. He sits among one of the empty tables inside. It's almost midnight but Jihoon doesn't have the heart to go home yet. Times like this, he should've bought a couple of bottles of soju and went home, sleep wherever in his apartment when he gets too drunk himself and wake up with a massive headache. But this time, he stares outside into nothing and listens to the quiet of the night, a cup of hot chocolate in hand.  
  
His phone vibrates and it's Seongwu, randomly sending photos of him and his boyfriend, mocking him with a caption saying _'I am not a sad bitch I got money and a daddy lmao'._ Jihoon regrets telling Seongwu he's a sad bitch. He berates admitting to himself he's actually one and not his friend.  
  
A few more sips from his hot chocolate and someone takes the empty seat in front of Jihoon.  
  
  
  
"A coffee shop is the last place I expected to see you in but, hi," Woojin sits comfortably, with a mug of what smells like black coffee on his hands, slowly putting it down on the table between him and Jihoon.

  
Jihoon holds the urge to shut his eyes and leave the place as soon as he registers who the hell is talking to him right now. At midnight.  
  
"Hey," Jihoon lets out a chuckle.  
  
There was an awkward silence between them. It's summer but it's quite cold inside the café as there are more or less than ten people inside including the graveyard shift workers by the counter. Jihoon tries to distract himself with his hot chocolate but it's weirdly to hot for him to take a longer sip.  
  
"How have you been?" Woojin suddenly asks.

  
Jihoon tries not to but he finally looks across and meets Woojin's gaze, "Never been better. Work's keeping me entertained, I guess."

  
Woojin nods, a small smile on his face, "You really did a good job at pursuing your passion and getting your dream job, Hoonie. I'm proud of you."  
  
Jihoon wonders how easily Woojin says those words, how its like still so natural of him to talk to him like he used to before. But before Jihoon's mind could go anywhere else, he reminds himself that however similar it is to the past, they aren't the same Jihoon and Woojin as before. The feelings back then are not there anymore, at least for Woojin.  
  
So Jihoon retuns the smile and says, "Thanks."  
  
He fumbles with the sleeve of his cup, trying to search for more words to say but words are fucking difficult and Jihoon isn't good at them so he just prefers to just ask Woojin.  
  
"And I see you have been good too?"  
  
Woojin looks up from his mug, "Yeah? Have been running this small dance academy along with working in the office, quite stressing but I'm getting by."

  
"You sure are working hard for your future, for the two of you," Jihoon did not mean to say it with a drip of bitterness. He hopes Woojin did not take it as that but if he did, Jihoon doesn't mind it at all.

  
Woojin scoffs, "If anything, we're both working hard for it. We're in this together so I can't just take all the credit."  
  
Jihoon nods in understanding. He ignores the kick in his stomach. Maybe the chocolate was still too hot.  
  
"As far as I remember though," Woojin speaks again, "I still owe you an explanation."

Jihoon laughs and shakes his head.  
  
"Woojin, it has been years. And we're both fine now with our own lives. We don't need it anymore. Besides, you don't have to worry about me holding a grudge against you."

"But I left you hanging, I don't have any idea what I left you with but-"

"I swear, it's okay, Woojin."

_It wasn't. You know it has never been okay, Jihoon._ A part of him does want to hear about what Woojin has to say, to at least give his heart a little consolation, part of him to convince himself more that it wasn't entirely Woojin's fault. A part of him also doesn't want to hear it anymore, doesn't want to open the wound again.  
  
He hasn't healed yet, after all those years. He might be standing far from where they left but Jihoon knows he still goes back to what they were and what they could have been for almost everyday of his life and he knows he can't hold on forever. So if he has to hear the reason(s) why it all happened, he thinks maybe it won't be of much help.  
  
"At least just hear me out, Jihoon. I don't expect you to forgive me-"  
"I was never mad at you."  
"I know you were. Just, please. Hear me out?"  
  
Jihoon clutches his cup as he stares back at Woojin's sincere eyes. He nods.  
  
Woojin sighs, moving his mug a little away from him.  
  
"I did not mean to leave you like that. I wanted to tell you everything. I knew you would understand. I already know what you are going to tell me but I never had the courage to actually say it to you. My dad wanted me to take a different course back then, right before we graduate. It meant me shifting to another course that is related to our business. It meant us not being able to have our dream of graduating together,  
  
"I had the choice to go back to Busan for a while. Then fly abroad to continue studying. I didn't want to. At least we have to graduate together first. But my dad insists. That was when I started to try doing something. I started on my final thesis beforehand, the days I started not to come home to you anymore. I stayed up all day and night just to finish it immediately to give me time to settle my papers. I planned on passing all my requirements so I can be on the list of graduates before the actual deadlines so that I can have enough time to apply for another course before telling you. I wanted to tell you everything without having you worried,  
  
"I tried so hard not to talk to you, to avoid you because I was so stressed. I don't want to let it all out on you, neither worry you and bring you into my mess. But I guess I wasn't good enough to keep up with the plans I made. I was able to pass my final requirements, but just then did I realize you were slipping out of my hands. You were right there but you felt too far. I knew it was my fault. I knew you were not okay, but I never had the courage to tell you everything. To tell you everything's hard for me too. Because I know you have been having things hard too,"  
  
Woojin sighs, "I'm sorry, Ji," he continues, "My dad got me admitted in a university abroad without me knowing, even before I got the chance to wait for my grades to be released. I was forced to leave the country in a week, exactly two weeks before the graduation. That was the night I left our dorm."  
  
Jihoon holds every breath that hitches from his chest of every revelation he hears. He did not know. And he couldn't avoid the regret and guilt that starts to wash over him as Woojin continues to speak.  
  
"But I was there, Jihoon," Woojin smiles at him, "I was there on the day you graduated. I managed to attend it. I saw you there up in the stage receive your certificate. I was so happy and proud of you, do you know that? And I'm sorry if I was the reason of your sad eyes that day. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to fulfill our promise."  
  
"But you were there, at least. That's enough to know, Woojin." Jihoon softly says.  
  
Woojin shakes his head, "That wasn't what we planned. But anyway, the rest is history after that. I met Mina years after I kept myself in a corner. You know what I mean," Woojin looks at Jihoon with apologetic eyes.  
  
"She came just after I finally admitted to myself that maybe I was ready. In the former years, I wasn't. There are still a lot of things that reminded me of you. But I guess time really heals. So that's that."  
  
Jihoon smiles at Woojin, "I'm happy for you, Wooj. Seriously. I'm sorry for not understanding you back then, for not being there with you. I'm sorry if I wasn't enough. That just meant I don't deserve you."  
  
"I just wish you all the best. You seem better now. You look better without me. Really, Woojin, I'm so proud of you. And meeting you like this, meeting you again is such a pleasure. You were my best friend after all, and still." Jihoon tries to reassure Woojin.  
  
"Of course, we are best friends. And I won't be the Park Woojin that I am today if it weren't of you, Park Jihoon. Thank you." Woojin says.  
  
Jihoon wanted to stay longer. He wanted to at least spend more time with Woojin, to catch up. But there are so many things running in his mind right now, too many _what ifs_ suddenly popping in his head, a lot of _what could've beens_ questioning himself, so Jihoon decides.  
  
"Hey, it's getting late. I think I should head back home now." Jihoon softly says, breaking the short silence.  
  
"I'll walk you home-"  
  
"It's fine Woojin, I can handle myself." Jihoon waves his hand, gathering his phone and wallet.  
  
"Are you sure?" Woojin asks.  
  
"Yep," Jihoon nods as he stands up, "You take care. See you around, Woojin."  
  
Woojin just nods at him. Jihoon turns his back with a smile, and steps out of his seat, not until Woojin stands up too and reaches for his hand.  
  
"Jihoon?" Woojin almost whispers.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I hope you're happy too. I always wanted you to be happy," Woojin puts on a sincere smile, a smile that once was etched and forever will be in Jihoon's mind.  
  
"I am, Woojin. I am," he convincingly says.  
  
Woojin nods, "and you deserve someone better."  
  
With that Jihoon pulls his hand gently out of Woojin's hold and leaves.  
  
  
_No one is ever better than you, Woojin. You will always be my best._ Jihoon did not hesitate to take his broken heart with him when he walked out of the café. Because if he lets Woojin have it once again, he won't be able to move forward, as he would always have a reason to find the younger even if he doesn't have to anymore.  
  
  
Woojin once told him to live life with no regrets, after watching a particular horror romance drama the snaggletoothed boy watched and cried over for a whole week. Jihoon did not pay attention to him before but now it hits him so hard that it triggered his tears out of his eyes even before he reaches home.  
  
Jihoon brings with him his questions finally answered, but all the times he should have been a better person for Woojin, he wasn't able to. I could have been the one. Jihoon shakes his head with a bitter smile as his tears fall endlessly, as he makes his way home.  
  
  
  
  
Days before Woojin and Mina's wedding, Jihoon received an email from the former to be his best man. He smiles, Seongwu would be so eccentric about this.  
  
But as much as Jihoon wants to witness Woojin in his best suit, wants to be there on his best friend's happiest day, Jihoon has learnt to prioritize himself this time. Jihoon knows he has been trying to heal himself, but as how happy he knows that day would be for Woojin, he is well aware it is not for him. He would love to, but he has to pay attention to not allow himself into a more heart break this time. So he declines.  
  
Jihoon knows it's for the better.  
  
He sends Seongwu in his place to attend the wedding, which actually made the older so much excited as he was allowed to bring his boyfriend that day. Along with him, Jihoon makes him bring the gift he wanted to give to Woojin which Seongwu happily obliged.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
On his special day, Woojin knows Jihoon would not be around. He understands. He truly does because he knows him better than anyone else. And he's happy Jihoon has known to finally not be selfless this time and have himself saved first than anybody else.  
  
Seongwu gives him a small box, saying it was from Jihoon. Woojin accepts it with gratitude, not just for the gift but also the amazing photos they produced.  
  
  
The box contained a familiar pair of mismatched shoe laces, the one Woojin remembers to be his first gift he gave Jihoon. He smiles, remembering those little moments. With it was a small note that said,  
  
  
_Live a happy life, my precious sparrow. These shoelaces have walked miles with me already._  
_Let me share it with you as you walk another chapter of your life._  
_Don't make bad decisions anymore as I won't always be there._  
_But our memories would be. Take care._  
_I love you, for the last time, and always._  
_ -PJH_

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twt! @icwj3269


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